Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
