you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
