whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
When are your genitals available?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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