shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
