We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Houston, we have a squirter
Every concussion has its silver lining
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
