We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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