I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize