You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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