You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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