Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
