Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
