the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
