i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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