i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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