I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
