Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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