Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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