She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
