Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
