my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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