cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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