Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I am morally bankrupt
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize