Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
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i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
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We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian