eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
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she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
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I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.