He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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