It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
