you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
