Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
