That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize