i think i have herpe
just one?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
