a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
