Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need a burrito and a hug.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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