and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
