Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Someone shattered a urinal.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
