I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
