If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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