i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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