it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
