I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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