i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
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She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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