The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up under a house in Key West
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
