Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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