Will you blow on my dice?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's the barista slut.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
