If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
