I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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