I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pants are for mortals
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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