Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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