i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
