i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
