it's great music for shaving your balls
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
