Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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