we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
