And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
