Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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