She is in my trunk
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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