i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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