When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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