Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
