So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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