Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Your tits are I can't wait for
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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